Friends Help to Deal with Bullying by Sarah Evans

I was asked to write about my experience with bullying and honestly, I'm not exactly sure what to write. I was bullied a bit in elementary school, but in some ways it doesn't seem so bad. Not that it was right, but it didn't seem mean-spirited. For example, one time a girl who was younger than I was made a hurtful comment to me. I don't remember what the comment was, but she did apologize and she said she didn't know that I had feelings because I had a disability. We were both young at the time and we were friends, so I see this as more of an educational opportunity than anything else.

One incident that sticks out in my mind happened one day when I was eating in the food court at a mall. My disability makes it difficult for me to feed myself, and sometimes it can get messy. There were a couple of boys at the table next to me and they were pointing at me and laughing and making comments about how gross it was. This may not have been traditional bullying, but it really hurt my feelings. I remembered that the next day I was going to an event with friends. Thinking about that helped me to get through the incident.

Unfortunately, bullying is real and it does hurt, but focusing on friends who care about you and other positive things will help us to remember that we are valued and important. 

More Than Role Models by Sarah Evans

The other day I saw an article online about the first line of dolls with disabilities. They are made by British toy maker Makies. The dolls can be customized and come with accessories such as hearing aids, canes and facial birthmarks.

People are going to have different reasons for liking these dolls. Some would say that kids with disabilities are going to like playing with dolls that they can relate to and see themselves reflected in. Other people say that the dolls will help kids with disabilities feel "normal" or that it's good toy companies are reflecting diversity.

While all these things are true, I think that we need to go further. I wonder if the millions of kids without disabilities would want to play with these dolls. Is this just going to be a disability thing or is this going to do anything to educate people (kids especially) about disability issues.

I think these dolls are a good start and they can be a great advocacy tool. For toys to be truly inclusive, they need to be available to all kids and be seen; not as segregated and special, but rather as a fun toy. 

Living Mindfully by Sarah Evans

Improving health is a goal many of us try to achieve as part of our New Years resolutions. Most people focus on improving their physical health, but looking after our mental health can also help us achieve better physical health. Did you know that mindfulness can help us both mentally and physically?

Being mindful means living in the present and focusing on the moment. When you are able to master mindfulness, you automatically reduce stress and the physical and emotional complications it causes. This is something that I struggle with. My mind is constantly wandering. I always have to keep my mind occupied or else it goes off in a million different directions. This can be very frustrating. I end up dwelling on things I don't really want to think about and I am not paying attention to what I am doing. Sometimes it takes me a while to re-focus my attention.

Meditation is a popular way to help improve our ability to be aware of how we are affected by our surroundings, feelings and emotions. It also helps to have something to focus on, like an interesting activity or pleasant music. I know that mindfulness will lead to more peace and health in the end. Personally, I feel better when I'm paying attention to what I'm doing. I feel calmer mentally and I am more confident. It is not easy to be mindful, but there are many resources available online to help you get started on a healthier way of interpreting the world around you.

Visit the following links to learn more about mindfulness:

• http://life.gaiam.com/article/6-ways-live-moment 
• http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/02/15/8-ways-to-return-to-the-present-moment/
• http://www.howtolive.com/be-present/#.VpfoJko8KK0

Getting Healthy in the New Year by Sarah Evans

Happy New Year! It seems like most people resolve to get healthier anytime a new year rolls around. They talk about eating properly and working out, but there are a number of other areas in our lives where we can get healthy.

One of those areas is our social lives. How you prioritize your social life can seriously impact your mental health. I plan to work on being more socially active this year. Believe me, it is easy for me to make excuses to stay home. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm too tired to go out or that going out would be too difficult for me to organize (having to take into account my attendant care, transportation and issues of accessibility). The thing is, I know that I feel better when I go out and socialize with my friends.

Perhaps, the key is to think of things you like to do and use them to put some purpose into your day. I like to go to visit the library to find games and activities. This gives me a chance to do something fun and meet new people. Even if I just go to the library to do my work, I feel better just being around other people.

Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Don't just make a New Year's resolution. We all forget them because they quickly stop being important to us. You don't need a new year to change something for the better in your life. Instead, understand that looking after your mental health affects everything else in your life and commit to making a lifestyle change that you can work toward, little by little.

Holiday Coping Tips by Sarah Evans

The holiday season is fun, but it can be lonely and stressful for some people. We see images of excitement and family everywhere. Sometimes, that doesn't match our reality and that over-hyped holiday season can make us feel like there is something wrong. We may feel out of our routine with have to spend time with people that we normally wouldn't. Ultimately, that shouldn't stop us from enjoying time with others.

On a positive note, the holidays can be a chance to reconnect. Having the ability to catch up can be refreshing or on the flip side, argumentative. It is important to set limits. Keep things light and fun. Don't bring up controversial issues or those things they might trigger old wounds. Also, remember to take time for yourself and plan to spend time with those who you know are going to support you and do things that you enjoy.

 I hope you have a very happy holiday and many blessings in 2016.

A Non-User Friendly System by Sarah Evans

A week ago, I had a very frustrating experience with my attendant service provider. I was having some medical issues and needed help with something that I wouldn't normally have to do and can't do by myself. I was told that my personal support workers were not trained to help me with what I needed and that I would have to have a nurse come over. When I asked if they would send a nurse, they told me that I would have to get a doctor's note saying that I needed a nurse. They suggested that while I was waiting for all that to be arranged, I could take an alternative form of the treatment or get a relative to help me.

I was very upset about this. I understand that there are systems in place that work a certain way, but it was kind of an emergency situation and I needed help. I want to be independent and feel like I should not have to rely on family. Although I know that my family is there for me, I want to be fair to them, too.

Fortunately, I am on direct funding now, which means that I can manage my own attendants and direct them to do what I need done. But even though agencies have rules, I think that they have to be more flexible and keep the individual's needs at the center of the care that they offer. 

Meaningful Gifts by Sarah Evans

I recently learned that Black Friday is on the same day as Buy Nothing Day. This seems like a bit of an oxymoron. A lot of people would agree that the holiday season has become too commercial. What I dislike most is feeling obligated to by a gift for someone just because it is Christmas. I think if we took time to put some thought into what we were giving people, it might actually be fun.

Obviously, you want to buy something a friend or family member will like, but some people seem to have everything or you may not feel like you know what the person's interests are.

Personally, I have always liked to receive as a gift something that I can do. Most people have hobbies they enjoy. If you are unsure what their hobbies are, simply ask them or check out their profile page on sites like Facebook and Pinterest. Another idea is to give them something that would allow them to try a new hobby.

Spending time with someone is always a wonderful gift. You can get tickets to a special event or just plan something fun to do with them. It is the time you spend together that is most important.

There are a number of small ways that you can make gift giving thoughtful and meaningful. Here are some inexpensive gift ideas that most people would appreciate receiving:

- Movie tickets.

- For drinkers, a bottle of wine or spirits.

- Specialty cookies or cupcakes.

- iFLY Toronto has introductory packages for under $100 for people who like just a little bit of adventure.

- Manicures and pedicures are becoming popular among both men and women and can usually be purchased for under $50. 

Do you have any special gift ideas that are inexpensive yet thoughtful? Please feel free to comment below!