Pink Shirt Day and Bake Sale

To celebrate Pink Shirt Day, Ability Online held a bake sale at Humber College. This was an opportunity to show off our pink shirts, and expand Ability Online to a wider audience. Pink Shirt Day’s campaign aims to increase awareness on issues such as bullying, and encourages people to stand up for others.

The justice studies interns manned the booth and brought all the baked goods included in the fundraiser. They provided useful information to those who had questions and delivered baked goods with a smile. Without their help Ability Online's Pink Shirt Day and bake sale wouldn't have been as much of a success.

Check out our video from the event:

Show Your Support for Pink Shirt Day

Nobody likes a bully. Those who put others down for no reason need to learn to make better choices. Causing someone to feel small and useless isn't what being a compassionate human is about. This Pink Shirt Day let's strive to create change.

Pink Shirt Day’s campaign aims to increase awareness on issues such as bullying, as well as raise funds to support various programs to boost children’s self-esteem. Help put a smile on a child's face by wearing a pink shirt and encouraging them to stand up for others.

Living in the digital age can make cyber-bullying even harder to deal with. The Internet allows for easier access to social media, which can translate to non-stop harassment. Bullying is hard on all kids, but children with disabilities are three to five times more likely to be bulled by their peers. This can lead to unnecessary anxiety and fear down the road. 

Ability Online has always been an avid supporter of Pink Shirt Day. Our online community takes pride in being bully-free for over 27 years. On February 28^th, join us in wearing pink shirts to combat against bullying and remember that every day is chance to stand up.

Ability Online will be located at Humber College for a Pink Shirt Day bake sale. Come by, purchase a baked good, and show your support!

Don't "Dis" My Ability by Jess Silver

My name is Jess Silver. I am a writer, sports fan, traveler and fitness enthusiast. I have cerebral palsy and need a wheelchair and assistance to get around. Despite this I have never allowed my challenge to get in my way of achieving any personal and professional goals because to me it's a hurdle to jump over, not a reason to stop doing anything. 

Professionally, I am a medical writer, adversity management coach/consultant, and executive director of a non-profit organization, called Flex for Access Inc. Being knowledgeable on topics related to fitness and sport has allowed me to create written content for both research and experience based on the importance of sport and physical activity for all. What began as a love of my home basketball team – the Toronto Raptors – and for other teams, transformed into using sport to manage bullying, physical pain and injuries for me. Through working with Michelle at Ability Online, I assist members with disability management with a focus on fitness and sport. 

Flex for Access Inc. is a non-profit organization that acts as an avenue to allow individuals with disabilities and injuries to engage in accessible and adaptive fitness and sport. More info can be found @flexforaccess. 

Every body and mind is different. We must understand it as such, and see challenges as creating uniquely different gears to move the machine of humankind forward. Don’t "dis" my ability. 

From Bullying to Barbells by Jess Silver

Everyone’s personalities are unique; they are what set us apart from the millions of people we are with every day. Your character is what controls your response to a situation. 

For Jess Silver, being driven and discovering things have always been an important part of who she is. She was never isolated as a child. She didn’t like to be separated from or treated differently by others, even though she has cerebral palsy. Jess never let having a disability that affects her physically stop her and was always encouraged by her friends and family to do all that she wanted to. This translated into her passion for sports and love for athletes who continually train harder to achieve more athletically. 

Jess encountered many levels of adversity while carrying out everyday responsibilities. Not being able to do "ordinary tasks" lead to physical bullying, alienation, taunting and cyberbullying. Building from the hardship she experienced, she strove to develop coping strategies and pursue hobbies that allowed her to develop strength, a sense of personal direction, passion and a character which consistently defies limits. 

How can one defy limits if there are so many obstacles that are both visible and internally endured by a person with a disability? 

That’s where sports enter into Jess’ life. Watching them as a kid first gave her this feeling of wonder that has now turned to aspiration to be just like those athletes. She craved a time when she could feel free of stigma, of feeling different, of being hurt and bullied. As a kid that freedom came from playing soccer with her classmates, and by going swimming. Later it transformed into a full-time commitment to fitness and mind and body wellness, which she relates to as an athlete’s journey in professional training. 

“Working out and consistently trying to improve my physical abilities, went from being something I had to do every day, to something I crave and want to consistently make more engaging for myself, every day. It’s unbelievable how sometimes a shift occurs in our lives around our circumstances we can’t quickly change. I was transformed the day I realized that my physical adversity makes me stronger because I used it to challenge myself to work more often in the gym and work harder. 

Seeing the rings, the barbell and knowing that I am capable of increasing reps (amount of times I do an exercise with or without weights), releases my negative emotions and allows me to continually reframe my mindset.” 

Adversity was there for Jess as a child and adolescent, but through the pursuit of activities like training in the gym, it has a newfound purpose. Today many obstacles give Jess adrenaline to discover new possibilities related to physical fitness and functional training. Driven from her past experiences, Jess has become a medical writer and an adversity management coach. She is consistently driven to finding new research, developing strategies, protocols and education to provide new insight into perceptions and ways that things are practiced relating to sport and medicine. 

“A barbell is driven up by gravity and force. We must drive our potential by the recognition firstly to want to create change, followed by effort to make it happen.” 

Friends Help to Deal with Bullying by Sarah Evans

I was asked to write about my experience with bullying and honestly, I'm not exactly sure what to write. I was bullied a bit in elementary school, but in some ways it doesn't seem so bad. Not that it was right, but it didn't seem mean-spirited. For example, one time a girl who was younger than I was made a hurtful comment to me. I don't remember what the comment was, but she did apologize and she said she didn't know that I had feelings because I had a disability. We were both young at the time and we were friends, so I see this as more of an educational opportunity than anything else.

One incident that sticks out in my mind happened one day when I was eating in the food court at a mall. My disability makes it difficult for me to feed myself, and sometimes it can get messy. There were a couple of boys at the table next to me and they were pointing at me and laughing and making comments about how gross it was. This may not have been traditional bullying, but it really hurt my feelings. I remembered that the next day I was going to an event with friends. Thinking about that helped me to get through the incident.

Unfortunately, bullying is real and it does hurt, but focusing on friends who care about you and other positive things will help us to remember that we are valued and important. 

Fighting the Stereotypes by Chris Viola

Sarah Evans, another blogger at Ability Online, recently mentioned in one of her articles that people with disabilities are often stereotyped. Using her personal research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as her example, Sarah describes how many aspects of it are misunderstood by both writers and the general public. This is something that makes life even more difficult for us. If we mention to people that we have a condition, people make assumptions about our needs and our capabilities that may not be true at all. Here, I’ll talk about why this happens, and how to help fight the stereotypes.

I think one of the reasons people stereotype is pop-culture. Characters are often defined by their condition. The reason here is simple and can be looked at simply by thinking about what pop-culture really is: a series of fictional stories designed for the purpose of entertainment. Watching a middle-aged character wake up, go to work, come home do house work, engage in a hobby and then go to sleep would be boring, even though it would be possibly the most realistic portrayal of the majority of people’s lives. This is why almost no shows or movies are about that. Also, because often, disabilities are so complicated and have so many little ins-and-outs that they’re almost impossible to portray realistically on TV, and would still be a challenge to portray in full-length movies. These normally wouldn’t be a problem, as pop-culture isn’t designed to be entertainment, but that does lead to another problem, being that people often over-simplify.

Many people say, "I have a brother/sister/cousin/other relative with (insert disability here) so I know all about it." This is something that affects both the disabled and those with mental illness, which give us a similar problem: we are being compared to a single person. Stereotyping a disability is like stereotyping a race, gender or sexual orientation.

It is difficult to get people to stop stereotyping those who live with disabilities. This behaviour is a product of ignorance, and some people don't care to be in the know. Please bear in mind that most people are willing to be more sensitive and will learn, if given the chance. The key is to use whatever resources you have at your disposal to educate people. A former classmate of mine from college who is on the autistic spectrum recently posted a link to an article on Cracked.com to his Facebook page. The article explains some things about having autism that many people don’t know. The points in the article were bang on.

If you're in a position to educate people about your disability, then you should do so. Write, forward articles, be interviewed, or do whatever you can. If you want to learn about living with disabilities, then please do some research. As I stated in the opening paragraph, Sarah Evans simply did some research to find articles about the truth on PTSD. Sometimes either explaining the truth, or showing what others have said about it can lead to you educating someone, doing them, yourself, and society as a whole, a small favour.

Fitting In: The Importance of Finding the Right Friends by Chris Viola

One thing that almost all people with a disability share is the difficulty of finding friends. Finding friends to avoid isolation is important to improve one's self-esteem, happiness and mental health. However, finding the 'wrong' friend can be as bad as having no friends at all.

Those who live with disability are often seen by others as being easy to take advantage of and are especially vulnerable if they appear to have something others may want, such as money. When low on friends, I’ve resorted at times to just being happy with ‘whoever spends any time with me,' which often leads to making poor choices. As someone with Asperger’s, I face many of these challenges, and have made poor choices myself in regards to friendship. Giving some examples, but without naming any names, I’ve had friends who would call me names or insult me on a regular basis, threaten to not be my friend if I didn’t do favours which I realise now were unreasonable, threaten violence against me, say they’re better than me, break commitments without telling me and avoid helping me even when I asked little things from them. Do these look familiar to you? Even if you’re lucky enough not to have experienced them, you likely recognize them as signs of bullying.

Luckily, I noticed these things later when I started making other friends, who would do nice things for me without even being asked. Whenever I said I couldn’t make a commitment, they would say it was ‘okay.' They’d say things that would boost my confidence, not lower it. I also noticed that many of these people were also the subject of bullying, and I began to think. Maybe, since they’ve been bullied so much as well, they knew what it was like, and would never dare do that to anyone else. I know after what I experienced that I was certainly in that mindset.

If you have any doubt about your friends, AbilityOnline offers two resources to its members. The first is called Friendship Builder that describes the qualities to look out for in fake friends. Another is Bully Bouncer that shows you how to deal with bullies. I encourage you to look at those resources to make sure that you are able to surround yourself friends who are good for you.

Chris Viola is currently studying Public Relations at Mohawk College.

Just a Little Different: The Challenge of Not Fitting In by Chris Viola

Both primary and secondary school can be difficult for children. The two most common problems faced by children are social struggles, and keeping one’s grades up to par. Most children struggle with at least one for a period of time, but for a child with a disability, both of these challenges become enormously more difficult.

In school, almost all children try to fit in. A disability can leave a child feeling isolated. Whether a physical disability, or a cognitive one, many children living with disability or long term illness are unable to fit in, making them easy targets for bullies. As someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, myself, I felt like I was being bullied for no reason, but after my diagnosis and several years to think, it was clear that I was missing out on several ‘cues’, and stood out.

The problem was one of perception and knowledge: I didn’t understand what the ‘accepted’ or ‘popular’ behaviour was because I didn’t understand the ‘cues’, or ‘rules’ society makes. I didn’t understand the cues because I didn’t even know there were these ‘cues’ or ‘rules’. Although this struggle continues slightly to this day, (the concept of social cues makes it sound like me and the other person are rehearsing a play, not having a conversation, but that’s just me), it’s something I’ve gotten better at. Bullies noticed that I was ‘different’, and put me down for it. Many of these are problems because the other person in the conflict doesn’t realise there is a problem.

 If you are being bullied or struggling at school, either academically or socially, there are many things you can do. AbilityOnline’s ‘Bully Busters’ gives much advice. Another thing you can do is talk to an adult that you trust, such as a parent or other relative. You can also speak to a teacher or other staff member at school. Although not everyone can help you directly, someone who really cares about you will at least give some advice, or perhaps refer you to someone they think can help.

If you would like the opportunity to connect with others who live with disability or long-term illness, please register for free at www.abilityonine.org. AblityOnline provides a safe, fully monitored online environment for kids and young adults of all abilities.

When Names Hurt: The Mental Health Effects of Bullying by Sarah Evans

When I was younger, people were told to ignore bullies or just pretend they weren't being hurtful. However, with yet another suicide attributed to bullying a few weeks ago, it is an issue we can no longer afford to ignore.

Bullying happens when a person is repeatedly targeted with negative words and/or actions. It includes (but is not limited to): teasing, purposeful exclusion and physical assault.

Being bullied has a major impact on a person's mental health. Those who have been bullied may feel alone, unsafe, afraid, stressed out and rejected. They may also feel ashamed, believing that they deserve to be bullied. Additionally, victims may feel guilty for having allowed the bully to control them, and they may begin to internalize the bullying (say to themselves what the bully says to them).

Being bullied can cause a number of mental health problems, including anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These issues may be caused by the bullying or exacerbated (made worse) by it.

The longer a person is exposed to a stress like being bullied, the more severe the psychological impact will be. This impact can last for years, even long after the bullying has ended.

People react to being bullied in different ways. Some people may attempt to change their appearance, behaviour or something else about themselves to try to fit in. At a more extreme end, some people may try to hurt or kill themselves because they believe there is no way out.

If you are being bullied or someone is making you feel uncomfortable, the best thing to do is to tell someone. They may be able to support you and help you make it stop.