A Satisfied Single by Sarah Evans

Sometimes it's lonely to be single, but not in the way you think. I usually like being single and having my freedom. Unfortunately, the world is definitely not set up for single people. You only have to turn on the radio to hear tons of songs about love and heartbreak. This is why I don't listen to a lot of music - I mostly listen to talk radio.

I think the bigger issue is how society views singleness. I realize that many people want to be in relationships and that society has changed its views in the past few decades.

Still, I feel like being single isn't completely accepted. I think that for many people, being single just means waiting for the right person. It's more about what a person is not and does not have than it's about what a person is. Even if someone wants to be in a relationship, it's important for us all to be happy and satisfied with ourselves first.

Mixed Feelings About ODSP by Sarah Evans

For the most part, I am grateful to be on the Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP). It enables me to be financially independent and pay for things like groceries and rent for my apartment. But it is a double sided coin. The other side is that people who are on the program are only allowed to make $200 a month extra before the government takes money away. Some people on ODSP would be able to work, but the rules are a disincentive to do so.

Even though I don't think I would be able to work full-time, I would probably be able to do something. At one point last year, I thought about starting my own consulting business. I spoke to my ODSP worker and she said that I could start a business but I would have to report all of my earnings and the government would take half of my earnings away after the initial $200. Now I want to be an author and I have to wonder how selling my stories or even publishing a book would affect my ODSP.

I am not sure what an ideal solution would be. Maybe it is raising the $200 limit. I know that it does pay off to work because you can make more money in the end, but it seems so difficult to figure out all the reporting rules and the like. I know that these programs have rules for a reason (and a good reason at that) but it feels sort of like they need to take into account individual situations and be more supportive of people who want to be part of the workforce. But on the other hand, not having to go to work gives me a lot of time to work on my writing. So maybe in the end it is a trade off.

Just a Little Different: The Challenge of Not Fitting In by Chris Viola

Both primary and secondary school can be difficult for children. The two most common problems faced by children are social struggles, and keeping one’s grades up to par. Most children struggle with at least one for a period of time, but for a child with a disability, both of these challenges become enormously more difficult.

In school, almost all children try to fit in. A disability can leave a child feeling isolated. Whether a physical disability, or a cognitive one, many children living with disability or long term illness are unable to fit in, making them easy targets for bullies. As someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, myself, I felt like I was being bullied for no reason, but after my diagnosis and several years to think, it was clear that I was missing out on several ‘cues’, and stood out.

The problem was one of perception and knowledge: I didn’t understand what the ‘accepted’ or ‘popular’ behaviour was because I didn’t understand the ‘cues’, or ‘rules’ society makes. I didn’t understand the cues because I didn’t even know there were these ‘cues’ or ‘rules’. Although this struggle continues slightly to this day, (the concept of social cues makes it sound like me and the other person are rehearsing a play, not having a conversation, but that’s just me), it’s something I’ve gotten better at. Bullies noticed that I was ‘different’, and put me down for it. Many of these are problems because the other person in the conflict doesn’t realise there is a problem.

 If you are being bullied or struggling at school, either academically or socially, there are many things you can do. AbilityOnline’s ‘Bully Busters’ gives much advice. Another thing you can do is talk to an adult that you trust, such as a parent or other relative. You can also speak to a teacher or other staff member at school. Although not everyone can help you directly, someone who really cares about you will at least give some advice, or perhaps refer you to someone they think can help.

If you would like the opportunity to connect with others who live with disability or long-term illness, please register for free at www.abilityonine.org. AblityOnline provides a safe, fully monitored online environment for kids and young adults of all abilities.

Indifference Is Not The Answer: The Importance of Being Accepted by Chris Viola

As was written in our earlier blog ‘When a name hurts: The Mental Health Effects of Bullying’, social rejection can have a detrimental effect on someone’s life for years, with many cases being unbeknownst to others, even those close to the victim. However, simply the absence of bullying isn't enough for someone to have a healthy childhood, as complete exclusion can have an equal, or even worse effect someone.

According to ASAP science’s video “The Science of Heartbreak,” multiple studies have shown that when given the choice, most people would rather experience physical pain than being socially excluded. This would mean that on the playground, one would prefer to be beat up, but otherwise treated normally instead of being totally isolated. Yet more studies have shown that chimps isolated from their native group have increased levels of Cortisol (the stress hormone), the effects of which on one’s mental health are relatively self-explanatory.

There’s an old quote, credited to various authors, stating that “The opposite of love is not to hate, apathy is”. This quote has been around for a long time now, and time and time again has been proven to be correct by those who lack a positive social interaction with others.

In the Health.com article “12 ways we sabotage our mental health”,  social isolation is the first one mentioned, stating that it is both a symptom and effect of depression. This has terrible implications, as being socially isolated leads to depression. Depression causes more social isolation. Social isolation causes even deeper depression, and the cycle continues, can go on infinitely unless stopped.

For those currently experiencing social isolation, its best to keep in mind that any level of rejection you’re experiencing isn't something that you should blame yourself for. Don’t let someone else’s actions give you a feeling of your own self-worth, and that you are a spectacular person with potential that others simply can’t see.

Chris Viola is continuing his education at Mohawk College in the Public Relations Post-Grad program after graduating from TV broadcasting. He also works part-time at the YMCA.