Living with OCD by Zach MacLean-Szwaz

Mental illness and/or addiction is something that affects approximately 1 in 5 Canadians in any given year. Although we are taught to be compassionate towards these individuals, there is still plenty of prejudice and ignorance in terms of the view of the lives these people live. Myself, I suffer from OCD. It first made its presence known in grade 4, making it even harder to understand. The things I had enjoyed became “dirty”. The things that were dirty became an area of avoidance at all costs. 

I remember the first moment I was made aware something was amiss. It wasn’t my parents or a health care professional, but a student, the same age as me. She asked me why I kept spitting in my hands. To me, this was my form of making my hands clean if I had touched something I perceived to be “dirty”. Before this moment, I believed nothing was unordinary, but as I sat at my desk, being asked by a 9 year old for an explanation I could not give, it clicked that I wasn’t like the rest. My brain fired differently, sending out thoughts and feelings that the other kids weren’t experiencing. I began to notice more and more my actions. From jumping around spots on the ground, to avoiding contact with feathers, to washing my hands until they were red, raw, cracked and bleeding.

It’s truly a feeling I will never forget: losing contact and being distanced by misunderstanding. Being made fun of for something, I wasn’t given the proper tools, in order to manage the irrationality of it all. I trucked on, with nobody but my parents by my side and it’s to them I owe my life to. They brought me to the weekly cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) sessions and they helped accommodate my needs as I made progress towards coping with it. They took the negativity I received and made me feel just like everyone else. Eventually after about 7 years of weekly sessions, I was symptom free, under control and able to be me again without restrictions.

Years went by and I found myself being a third year student, in university with a solid support group of friends, family, girlfriend and extra-curricular activities. Everything was smooth and then in the matter of a month it all went downhill. OCD sometimes is triggered through stress, traumatic events or even small things like remembering a past thought (depending if you've had it before). For me, I was dealing with a change in family dynamic and the stress of it all began presenting symptoms. I ignored it is because I was in denial. I wanted to believe that it wasn't making a return, but because of my negligence it had become 10 times worse than it was as a child. 

I was couch ridden, unable to open doors and light switches, I was dodging and weaving, showering for extended periods of time because something that was “dirty” grazed my leg, so I needed to wash my whole body. It took until I was fully unable to function where I found myself in the emergency room at Credit Valley Hospital. They wanted to evaluate my health and I passed out from merely taking blood. I was weak, and physically and mentally drained. They suggested hospitalization until I could regain some strength. I refused because I was (and still am) very stubborn. Instead, they prescribed some medications, to take some of the edge off and on my decision, left to the comfort of my home. It took about a month before the actual results began to appear. I was much calmer, washing my hands less. I was given back rationality. Although the improvement, I still wasn’t at a point where I felt I could be in public. I wasn’t working and decided the stress of school was too much to handle. I took time to rebuild and regain myself and despite my disinterest to do so, it helped me more than I could have predicted.

Now, going into 2016, I’m in school, I’m feeling good and the OCD has lessened. I have my bad days and good days, but with the help of medication each day makes me stronger, making me push forward towards becoming symptom free once again. My support system still remains and what I attribute a lot of my success to. They became a reason to get better when things seemed so bleak. They provided me with comfort when I felt so alone, and gave me an outlet to express my thoughts.

The point of all this is not to have people feel sympathy towards what I went through. It is to show that mental illness is strong and prevalent everywhere we step. It is something that should be handled more seriously but delicately enough that people will want to confide in a support system. While you walk down the hallways of the school, look around. You don't know what people have going on, you don't know what they are feeling. Individuals are all around, most of us disguising our true colours. Some others don't have the ability to do so, but we are here and we are human just like everyone else. Sure, we are a bit different, but who doesn’t have a quirk or two. To all my fellow people who deal with mental illness and to all those who don’t, we are all human beings under one roof. Let’s make sure everyone can have some shelter.

Doing What Works by Sarah Evans

All my life I have liked to handwrite. I used to get into arguments with my mother and teachers (I tell you this with a smile on my face) over me writing. My handwriting is big and messy and difficult to read. I understand why people thought it would be easier for me and others if I typed instead of wrote, but I was still stubborn at times.

It wasn't until years later when I didn't have easy access to a computer that I began to handwrite again. I really liked it. What I realized is that for me, handwriting was less an issue of my being stubborn and more about it being easier for me to do my work. It feels like information flows more easily when I write. Somehow, my brain processes information differently. As well, I am a tactile person. I am more focused and engaged in what I am doing when I am writing or doing something meaningful with my hands. I even have an app on my iPad that converts my handwriting into text.

I have learned to do what works. Even though it takes me longer to hand write, it helps me to think more clearly and gives me more confidence in my work.

Friends Help to Deal with Bullying by Sarah Evans

I was asked to write about my experience with bullying and honestly, I'm not exactly sure what to write. I was bullied a bit in elementary school, but in some ways it doesn't seem so bad. Not that it was right, but it didn't seem mean-spirited. For example, one time a girl who was younger than I was made a hurtful comment to me. I don't remember what the comment was, but she did apologize and she said she didn't know that I had feelings because I had a disability. We were both young at the time and we were friends, so I see this as more of an educational opportunity than anything else.

One incident that sticks out in my mind happened one day when I was eating in the food court at a mall. My disability makes it difficult for me to feed myself, and sometimes it can get messy. There were a couple of boys at the table next to me and they were pointing at me and laughing and making comments about how gross it was. This may not have been traditional bullying, but it really hurt my feelings. I remembered that the next day I was going to an event with friends. Thinking about that helped me to get through the incident.

Unfortunately, bullying is real and it does hurt, but focusing on friends who care about you and other positive things will help us to remember that we are valued and important. 

More Than Role Models by Sarah Evans

The other day I saw an article online about the first line of dolls with disabilities. They are made by British toy maker Makies. The dolls can be customized and come with accessories such as hearing aids, canes and facial birthmarks.

People are going to have different reasons for liking these dolls. Some would say that kids with disabilities are going to like playing with dolls that they can relate to and see themselves reflected in. Other people say that the dolls will help kids with disabilities feel "normal" or that it's good toy companies are reflecting diversity.

While all these things are true, I think that we need to go further. I wonder if the millions of kids without disabilities would want to play with these dolls. Is this just going to be a disability thing or is this going to do anything to educate people (kids especially) about disability issues.

I think these dolls are a good start and they can be a great advocacy tool. For toys to be truly inclusive, they need to be available to all kids and be seen; not as segregated and special, but rather as a fun toy. 

Living Mindfully by Sarah Evans

Improving health is a goal many of us try to achieve as part of our New Years resolutions. Most people focus on improving their physical health, but looking after our mental health can also help us achieve better physical health. Did you know that mindfulness can help us both mentally and physically?

Being mindful means living in the present and focusing on the moment. When you are able to master mindfulness, you automatically reduce stress and the physical and emotional complications it causes. This is something that I struggle with. My mind is constantly wandering. I always have to keep my mind occupied or else it goes off in a million different directions. This can be very frustrating. I end up dwelling on things I don't really want to think about and I am not paying attention to what I am doing. Sometimes it takes me a while to re-focus my attention.

Meditation is a popular way to help improve our ability to be aware of how we are affected by our surroundings, feelings and emotions. It also helps to have something to focus on, like an interesting activity or pleasant music. I know that mindfulness will lead to more peace and health in the end. Personally, I feel better when I'm paying attention to what I'm doing. I feel calmer mentally and I am more confident. It is not easy to be mindful, but there are many resources available online to help you get started on a healthier way of interpreting the world around you.

Visit the following links to learn more about mindfulness:

• http://life.gaiam.com/article/6-ways-live-moment 
• http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/02/15/8-ways-to-return-to-the-present-moment/
• http://www.howtolive.com/be-present/#.VpfoJko8KK0

Getting Healthy in the New Year by Sarah Evans

Happy New Year! It seems like most people resolve to get healthier anytime a new year rolls around. They talk about eating properly and working out, but there are a number of other areas in our lives where we can get healthy.

One of those areas is our social lives. How you prioritize your social life can seriously impact your mental health. I plan to work on being more socially active this year. Believe me, it is easy for me to make excuses to stay home. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm too tired to go out or that going out would be too difficult for me to organize (having to take into account my attendant care, transportation and issues of accessibility). The thing is, I know that I feel better when I go out and socialize with my friends.

Perhaps, the key is to think of things you like to do and use them to put some purpose into your day. I like to go to visit the library to find games and activities. This gives me a chance to do something fun and meet new people. Even if I just go to the library to do my work, I feel better just being around other people.

Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Don't just make a New Year's resolution. We all forget them because they quickly stop being important to us. You don't need a new year to change something for the better in your life. Instead, understand that looking after your mental health affects everything else in your life and commit to making a lifestyle change that you can work toward, little by little.

Holiday Coping Tips by Sarah Evans

The holiday season is fun, but it can be lonely and stressful for some people. We see images of excitement and family everywhere. Sometimes, that doesn't match our reality and that over-hyped holiday season can make us feel like there is something wrong. We may feel out of our routine with have to spend time with people that we normally wouldn't. Ultimately, that shouldn't stop us from enjoying time with others.

On a positive note, the holidays can be a chance to reconnect. Having the ability to catch up can be refreshing or on the flip side, argumentative. It is important to set limits. Keep things light and fun. Don't bring up controversial issues or those things they might trigger old wounds. Also, remember to take time for yourself and plan to spend time with those who you know are going to support you and do things that you enjoy.

 I hope you have a very happy holiday and many blessings in 2016.