How much information do you share with others? What boundaries do you set around self-disclosure? A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article about
boundaries. There are many kinds of boundaries that get crossed, especially when you have a disability. Nevertheless, we must be aware of what is appropriate and inappropriate and not be afraid to set boundaries for others; physical or otherwise.
To me, self-disclosure is about what you tell
about yourself to whom. Sometimes it can be difficult to know who's safe to
tell what to. Sometimes people tell too much information about themselves, such
as their finances and their personal life, to people they don't really know
that well (maybe acquaintances or people they meet and are talking to in a
store).
Personally, sometimes I'm too trusting of people and I just want to be
friendly. Unfortunately, I don't think there is a hard and fast rule about keeping yourself safe. I
think that we gain wisdom by just going out there and having experiences and
dealing with people. This is one of the reasons why it is important that we
all, including people with disabilities, are part of our communities and have
social opportunities. Loneliness and isolation sometimes makes us vulnerable. Even though it is sometimes difficult to get out and about, we need to look for opportunities to be around others; if for no other reason, to help us gain street smarts.
Many people struggle with setting boundaries. They don't know when and how to say no in an appropriate way. This is an often overlooked issue for people with disabilities.
Boundaries mean different things to different people. I once heard them described as being where one person ends and another begins. I have also heard boundaries being compared to fences. They enable people to say yes to some things and no to other things.
I have noticed that one common boundary issue for people with disabilities is mistakenly believing that the professionals they work with are their friends. They may think this because they spend a lot of time with these people and they lack opportunities to develop friendships with their peers. Knowing this, professionals may (intentionally or unintentionally) feel bad for their clients and be afraid of hurting their feelings if they were to set boundaries. Therefore, they may find it difficult to set appropriate boundaries with their clients or correct wrong assumptions about the nature of these relationships.
It is important for professionals to be direct and forthcoming with their clients. These types of relationships usually only last for a relatively short period of time. The best thing professionals can do is prepare their clients for the future, including future relationships (professional and otherwise). As well, setting appropriate boundaries models and teaches clients to set healthy boundaries of their own, which will ultimately help them to value themselves and their feelings in relationships.
Resources:
Canadian Medical Association Code of Ethics
JKP Blog Interview with Frank Cooper, Author of Professional Boundaries in Social Work and Social Care
