Friends Help to Deal with Bullying by Sarah Evans

I was asked to write about my experience with bullying and honestly, I'm not exactly sure what to write. I was bullied a bit in elementary school, but in some ways it doesn't seem so bad. Not that it was right, but it didn't seem mean-spirited. For example, one time a girl who was younger than I was made a hurtful comment to me. I don't remember what the comment was, but she did apologize and she said she didn't know that I had feelings because I had a disability. We were both young at the time and we were friends, so I see this as more of an educational opportunity than anything else.

One incident that sticks out in my mind happened one day when I was eating in the food court at a mall. My disability makes it difficult for me to feed myself, and sometimes it can get messy. There were a couple of boys at the table next to me and they were pointing at me and laughing and making comments about how gross it was. This may not have been traditional bullying, but it really hurt my feelings. I remembered that the next day I was going to an event with friends. Thinking about that helped me to get through the incident.

Unfortunately, bullying is real and it does hurt, but focusing on friends who care about you and other positive things will help us to remember that we are valued and important. 

Getting Healthy in the New Year by Sarah Evans

Happy New Year! It seems like most people resolve to get healthier anytime a new year rolls around. They talk about eating properly and working out, but there are a number of other areas in our lives where we can get healthy.

One of those areas is our social lives. How you prioritize your social life can seriously impact your mental health. I plan to work on being more socially active this year. Believe me, it is easy for me to make excuses to stay home. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm too tired to go out or that going out would be too difficult for me to organize (having to take into account my attendant care, transportation and issues of accessibility). The thing is, I know that I feel better when I go out and socialize with my friends.

Perhaps, the key is to think of things you like to do and use them to put some purpose into your day. I like to go to visit the library to find games and activities. This gives me a chance to do something fun and meet new people. Even if I just go to the library to do my work, I feel better just being around other people.

Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Don't just make a New Year's resolution. We all forget them because they quickly stop being important to us. You don't need a new year to change something for the better in your life. Instead, understand that looking after your mental health affects everything else in your life and commit to making a lifestyle change that you can work toward, little by little.

More Than Personal Care by Sarah Evans

I have lived on my own for over ten years and rely mostly on attendant care. Only recently I have really realized that my independence is so much more than having my personal care needs met. I have found that there are not a lot of services available to help me maintain my apartment.

This recently came up when a support worker (not one of my attendants) was helping me to fill out a work order for my superintendent. One of the things I needed addressed was that the strings to open and close my blinds were tangled. My worker questioned whether or not the building superintendent was responsible for this. While I understood the question, I was also frustrated because I didn't know who I was supposed to ask for help with this.

I had a similar issue when I first moved into my apartment a few years ago. The service I use for attendant care only focuses on personal care. Therefore, I didn't know how I could get free homemaking services. I looked into some agencies, but they were expensive. Fortunately, I got private funding so that I could hire someone to do my housekeeping.

Although I love living on my own, it can be difficult to find the support I need to help me maintain my apartment and be independent in the community. 

Sarah Evans is a mentor at Ability Online. Ability Online provides connection opportunities and resources for people living with disability, their families and professionals.

Wellness Tools by Sarah Evans

The things I like to do are not only fun, but they help me to maintain my emotional wellness.

I like to go out and be with people, and the library is a great place for this. There are a variety of groups at the library. A couple of months ago, I started playing chess. I really enjoy it. I'm still learning how to play. Even though it can be difficult, I like the challenge and it helps me to develop my critical thinking skills.

It also helps to build community around myself. Ability Online is great for that. I also listen to a podcast called the Daily Audio Bible that gives me a real sense of community. Just like I take care of my physical health, it is very important that I do these things to stay happy and calm.

The Canadian Mental Health Association has some interesting facts about mental health in Canada. Check out this link: Fast Facts About Mental Health

Developing New Opportunities by Sarah Evans

Sometimes it's easy for me to get stuck and unmotivated.  I know that I have to try harder to go out and be with people, but I make excuses such as the following:  I get too tired,  I don't want to have to cancel my attendant care too many times, I have too much work to do.

But every once in awhile, something comes along that motives me.  Last weekend,  I was at the People in Motion show in Toronto, which is an annual trade show for people with disabilities.  I saw some really neat things.  The Ontario Wheelchair Sports Association had a booth there featuring information about a number of different adapted sports. There was also an organization called Wheel Dance, which offers dancing for people with disabilities.  I took some information from both organizations and signed up for their mailing lists.

I know that I need to be proactive in kickstarting my social life, but going to where there is a lot of information about different opportunities is very inspiring for me.  It excites me to think about trying new things and meeting new people.